Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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