Old men and throwing up are my life now.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
