Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
only you would photoshop your dick
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
