Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize