Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
