don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
