Me too!
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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