Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
