Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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