Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
