I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
