Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
