I got chris browned last night
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
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