5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
