dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Randomize
