i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
