They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
