i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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