I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
