i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
