Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
