just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
