wakey wakey hands off snakey
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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