Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret

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(707): View more from California

I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.

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(319): View more from Iowa

Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.

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(207): View more from Maine

he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation

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(815): View more from Illinois

I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".

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(561): View more from Florida

Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I am mentally ready for anal.

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(231): View more from Michigan

he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob

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