I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
