Pappa wants mamma naked
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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