What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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