Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.