my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
What's dad's email?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good