she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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