He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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