I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
