weddingsv make me drug and hornr
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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