Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
