I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
