Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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