So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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