You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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