This house was built for laser tag.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
