There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
