Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
