It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
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