Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize