Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
