I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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