Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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