I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Randomize
