Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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