It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
BRING THE BAGELS
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
