there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Just high enough for therapy.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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