Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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