you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
