I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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