is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Randomize
