She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
