I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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