I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
