Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Pooping to opera.
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