do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize