Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
