I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
