Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I think people are normalizing furries
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
