This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
