gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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