how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
