I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
