Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
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