just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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