im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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