Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Success! We fucked roommates!
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
