it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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