Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I think I am morally bankrupt
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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