Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Bring me that man meat
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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